Pageant Aficionado Gifts

Westminster's fine, but this show is just sick. Puppies & Tiaras.

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

Hospital gown pageant.

'And do you, grand marshal Froomkin, promise to always love a parade?'

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

Circus Pageant

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

Linda Carter played Wonder Woman on the odl TV show. Her dad was Irish-American and her mom was Mexican-American. Before that, she was Miss World USA. Before that, she was forced by her abuelita to eat beauty and muscle foods like rice and beans."

'The contest brought in only twenty two wrappers...'

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

"She really lights up a room. Face it Patty, we don't hold a candle to her."

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

Miss America IQ pageant.

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

Beauty contest

“It’s the same everywhere: body over brains.”

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

"Hi. My name is Tanya and, if elected, my agenda will be cheddar! Cheddar, cheddar, cheddar!!"

Blank Inside

7th annual weird fishes pageant

'We've decided to skip the swimsuit competition on account of how disgusting we all look.'

Miss Jumbo Queen Pageant.

'I could wile away the hours / Conferrin' with the flowers / Consultin' with the rain...'

'Welcome to the Miss Universe Pageant! And for the 62nd year in a row, Miss Bermuda is mysterious missing!'

Doris always made a big impact in the swimwear section of the beauty contest

Beauty Contest

In this pageant contestants must knowingly provide incorrect responses to questions. Ah, "Miss Information"!