Pageantry Lover Gifts

"I miss America!"

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

Hospital gown pageant.

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

'And do you, grand marshal Froomkin, promise to always love a parade?'

Graham really wanted to play Joseph, but deep down he knew what part he'd get again.

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

Circus Pageant

Linda Carter played Wonder Woman on the odl TV show. Her dad was Irish-American and her mom was Mexican-American. Before that, she was Miss World USA. Before that, she was forced by her abuelita to eat beauty and muscle foods like rice and beans."

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

"She really lights up a room. Face it Patty, we don't hold a candle to her."

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

Westminster's fine, but this show is just sick. Puppies & Tiaras.

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

Miss America IQ pageant.

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

Beauty contest

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

Beauty Contest

'Welcome to the Miss Universe Pageant! And for the 62nd year in a row, Miss Bermuda is mysterious missing!'

'I could wile away the hours / Conferrin' with the flowers / Consultin' with the rain...'

'We've decided to skip the swimsuit competition on account of how disgusting we all look.'

Blank Inside

Miss Jumbo Queen Pageant.

Uncle Tom

"Hi. My name is Tanya and, if elected, my agenda will be cheddar! Cheddar, cheddar, cheddar!!"