Beauty Pageant Fans Pillows

“It’s the same everywhere: body over brains.”

Miss America IQ Pageant

'I play an evolving character, In the second act, I'm a piece of pie,'

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

Circus Pageant

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

Model's aspirations

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

Beauty contest

Miss America IQ pageant.

"People here seem to appreciate the before and after photos much more than my previous job."

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

7th annual weird fishes pageant

"He used to be in the Props Dept. at his church's Christmas Pageant."

Blank Inside

Meet Miss Subways

"Hi. My name is Tanya and, if elected, my agenda will be cheddar! Cheddar, cheddar, cheddar!!"

Beauty Contest

'We've decided to skip the swimsuit competition on account of how disgusting we all look.'

Miss Jumbo Queen Pageant.

'I could wile away the hours / Conferrin' with the flowers / Consultin' with the rain...'