Baseball Banter Gifts

'Try not to dip your shoulder and keep your head in there. Remember, all the great ones go through slumps.'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

You'll understand after you see him pitch.

"...They must be poor catchers, there's two men behind the plate."

Gotta babysit. Too bad! Tap tap. The worst part is the first! Subduing little monsters? Tap tap. No

'He looks great in the field, but can he bat?'

Expansion 2000: The Baton Rouge Ball Boys

Shows Bundt

'No way, man! Murphy isn't worth anywhere near the 3.5 million they're paying him!'

'So much for the question of whether of whether or not a curveball really curves.'

'He hits better against right handed pitching, so pitch left-handed, to him.'

'Go get the hose, George! That gopher is back!'

"OK maybe we should try a different sport."

'Get over it, Brady. Pitchers at this level are expected to get batters out. Randy there gave up eight runs in one inning...'

Baseball contract signing gloves.

'Please cover for me Carol. I'll be away from my desk, roaming the cubicles, searching for sports talk.'

'...The athletic trainer's coming with the WD-40.'

"Well, if you don't want to talk politics would you like to talk baseball?"

You're right. He's gonna throw the change-up.

"Daddy doesn't hate the Yankees. Daddy has issues with the Yankees."

'The fish and chips are very nice.'

Before baseball, raccooning enjoyed a brief stint as the national pastime.

'Nice throw...'

'Jameis Winston is going over to the sideline, I'm not sure if he's been suspended again, or just broke a chin strap."

"Now they'll never know who's on first."

Baseball player: 'I'll let my bat do my talking!' BAT: '...I have nothing to say'

'Gimme the remote. I think you got it on slo-mo.'

"Things are going well, so I may as well ask: how about those Mets? Ha-ha, just kidding. The tail. Please fix this tail thing."

"Thats for missing the bunt sign!" "Yeah, and that's for striking out on ball four, you loser!"

"My ultimate sports fantasy is to see a star player request a baseball autographed by the umpire crew."