Baseball Banter Champion Gifts

Ever since Jeff's little accident, his teammates all referred to his position on the field as 'Shartstop'.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

You'll understand after you see him pitch.

'I'll take back 'Rotten Egg' if you'll apologize for 'Dumb Cluck'.'

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

"...They must be poor catchers, there's two men behind the plate."

"It's the drink talking"

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

Your counselor wants you to concentrate on one sport. Ok. Sports Camp. Which do you like best? Maybe baseball. Great. Or soccer or lacrosse. I'm proud of you, Teddy! You don't care about being the cool sports star! Ok. Then soccer.

'Yesterday her kids and my kids started beating up our kids.'

'No way, man! Murphy isn't worth anywhere near the 3.5 million they're paying him!'

Full Of Beans

Shows Bundt

"Maybe we overdid the sedation."

'He looks great in the field, but can he bat?'

Expansion 2000: The Baton Rouge Ball Boys

'So much for the question of whether of whether or not a curveball really curves.'

'He hits better against right handed pitching, so pitch left-handed, to him.'

Baseball contract signing gloves.

'Get over it, Brady. Pitchers at this level are expected to get batters out. Randy there gave up eight runs in one inning...'

Mom! Billy's censoring me!

'...The athletic trainer's coming with the WD-40.'

Before baseball, raccooning enjoyed a brief stint as the national pastime.

You're right. He's gonna throw the change-up.

"I don't know anything about politics or foreign relations, but I do know that Madelyn Albright's a babe."

'Remember, it's YOUR benefit game - go out and foul whoever you like!'

"I've never been one for conspiracy theories."

"The All-Star Game is just a fun way to decide which league will host the San Francisco Giants' next championship romp.*"

"Shall I fry it or flush it?"

"Daddy doesn't hate the Yankees. Daddy has issues with the Yankees."

'Nice throw...'

"Things are going well, so I may as well ask: how about those Mets? Ha-ha, just kidding. The tail. Please fix this tail thing."

Baseball player: 'I'll let my bat do my talking!' BAT: '...I have nothing to say'

"Now they'll never know who's on first."