Witty Banter Champion Gifts

Full Of Beans

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

'A cheeky red?'

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

'This is fantastic! I don't know what's smaller, the talk or the food?'

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

"I'll have a man overboard!"

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

A lesson in wit

'I'll take back 'Rotten Egg' if you'll apologize for 'Dumb Cluck'.'

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

Heart To Heart

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

Cold caller.

The Gilmore Girls

When Stupid People Get an Idea

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

'Nobody goes there any more.' - 'It's too crowded.'

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

'Yeah, but tomorrow I'll be sober, and you'll still be a giraffe!'

"O.K., your mouth may be clean but I'll bet your mind is filthy."

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

Know-it-alls

"Yeah, I know why you pulled me over. But, c'mon. I'm down to half a pack a day and I'm tryin' to quit."

Edwina momentarily considered sarcasm. . .

If I may paraphrase an old saying, "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to urinate like racehorses." ! !

"At work, they call me benchmark."