Baseball Banterers Gifts

"Now they'll never know who's on first."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

You'll understand after you see him pitch.

"...They must be poor catchers, there's two men behind the plate."

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

Shows Bundt

Expansion 2000: The Baton Rouge Ball Boys

"You mock, sir—you mock a sport storied and beloved. I, sir, pity you."

'He looks great in the field, but can he bat?'

'No way, man! Murphy isn't worth anywhere near the 3.5 million they're paying him!'

"We've been married so long you not only finish my sentences you start 'em too."

'Go get the hose, George! That gopher is back!'

'He hits better against right handed pitching, so pitch left-handed, to him.'

'So much for the question of whether of whether or not a curveball really curves.'

The world of Freudian slips...

'Get over it, Brady. Pitchers at this level are expected to get batters out. Randy there gave up eight runs in one inning...'

Baseball contract signing gloves.

"At our age I figure we only have two taste buds left. One for vodka and one for wine."

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'

"The truth is, Kevin, a long time ago your grandfather hit a triple and thats how we got to third base."

'...The athletic trainer's coming with the WD-40.'

You're right. He's gonna throw the change-up.

A young man replying cheekily to an older gentleman

"Daddy doesn't hate the Yankees. Daddy has issues with the Yankees."

Before baseball, raccooning enjoyed a brief stint as the national pastime.

'Nice throw...'

"Things are going well, so I may as well ask: how about those Mets? Ha-ha, just kidding. The tail. Please fix this tail thing."

'Gimme the remote. I think you got it on slo-mo.'

Baseball player: 'I'll let my bat do my talking!' BAT: '...I have nothing to say'

"Don’t look at me. You’re the one who brought him the newspaper."

"My ultimate sports fantasy is to see a star player request a baseball autographed by the umpire crew."

Spring Training Camp. Have you ever thrown spitballs? Not since the league started testing saliva.