Baseball Banter Buff Gifts

'Gimme the remote. I think you got it on slo-mo.'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

'It's baseball season!'

The Other Cooperstown

Dialogue about the relationship.

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

Baseball Fantasy League Draft. 27 Trout. Everybody wants that rare player who can do it all on their team. Yeah, a player that hits for average and hits for power! Who is also terrific with a glove and has a strong throwing arm. All along with having great speed! Excuse me, I just don't understand it. Why are you always making such a big deal over a five-tool player?!

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

"I thought it was a strike, Troy—but ask your mother."

"All right! Have it your own way. It was a ball."

"It says here that study claims chimps and humans are 96% the same. What's your thoughts Derek?"

Frank & Ernie's Health and Fitness Equipment for Elite Athletes. Our first delivery is there free weights we're taking to a golfer. He'll be working on his irons! This is going to a swimmer. A massage table for back strokes! A pro snowboarder bought this hyperbaric chamber. He wants to get big air! And we'll finish by taking the treadmill to a baseball player's basement gym. Of course ... for the home runs!

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

It was the bottom of the fifth and the bases were loaded.

'Steeee-rike three!'

"Did Yogi Berra ever say anything besides 'It ain't over till it's over'?"

You'll understand after you see him pitch.

'Kids, if I'd gotten into computers, instead of baseball, I'd have a job now!'

"...They must be poor catchers, there's two men behind the plate."

Undisclosed amounts

"There's your problem."

Signed Baseball - Scientists,

'True - There is no 'I' in team. But there is in 'I don't need my crummy team.'

'Ok, there's some duct tape. Are you happy now, Mr. Prima Donna?...'