Baseball Banterists Gifts

'No way, man! Murphy isn't worth anywhere near the 3.5 million they're paying him!'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

You'll understand after you see him pitch.

"...They must be poor catchers, there's two men behind the plate."

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

Expansion 2000: The Baton Rouge Ball Boys

Shows Bundt

'He looks great in the field, but can he bat?'

"We've been married so long you not only finish my sentences you start 'em too."

"You mock, sir—you mock a sport storied and beloved. I, sir, pity you."

'He hits better against right handed pitching, so pitch left-handed, to him.'

'So much for the question of whether of whether or not a curveball really curves.'

The world of Freudian slips...

'Go get the hose, George! That gopher is back!'

"The truth is, Kevin, a long time ago your grandfather hit a triple and thats how we got to third base."

'Get over it, Brady. Pitchers at this level are expected to get batters out. Randy there gave up eight runs in one inning...'

In addition to players, some major league umpires are suspected of using steroids.

Baseball contract signing gloves.

"At our age I figure we only have two taste buds left. One for vodka and one for wine."

'...The athletic trainer's coming with the WD-40.'

'Well, if you need me to put it into 'layman's terms' maybe you should be talking to someone with a lower IQ.'

"Daddy doesn't hate the Yankees. Daddy has issues with the Yankees."

A young man replying cheekily to an older gentleman

Before baseball, raccooning enjoyed a brief stint as the national pastime.

You're right. He's gonna throw the change-up.

'Nice throw...'

"Things are going well, so I may as well ask: how about those Mets? Ha-ha, just kidding. The tail. Please fix this tail thing."

Baseball player: 'I'll let my bat do my talking!' BAT: '...I have nothing to say'

"Now they'll never know who's on first."

"Don’t look at me. You’re the one who brought him the newspaper."

'I called it first!'

Spring Training Camp. Have you ever thrown spitballs? Not since the league started testing saliva.