Awkward Aficionado Gifts

"I'm trying to decide between a cocktail with a cute name and one that's blatantly sexual."

'I wonder why we geeks don't get more women?'

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

Bad Interview Technique

'...and this is the Mess.'

"God help us, it's that guy."

"All in favor of telling Anderson about that thing stuck to his lip, say aye."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

Adult Book Store. Leaving home. Finding a Job. Getting Married. Buying a House. Raising Kids. Living with Stress.

A close encounter of the awkward kind

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

"Let’s try another one. Jerry blinked, Kate’s giving Jon the finger, and Jess is choking."

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

Spinach Dating.

How to injury yourself as an adult

"Gee, I hate gatherings like these! I never know the right thing to say..."

"Please to meet you, though I'm sorry about the circumstances."

'I hope I'm not intruding...'

Lion Toupee

"Michael. ... That's my sleazeball of an ex-husband's name."

"Riddle your salad with pepper, sir?"

CLEAN YOUR ROOM! 'Out of sight, out of mind...'

'Your mother is not a good loser is she?'

Bob had a lot to prove – which happens when you're wrong most of the time.

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

"What? The invitation said, wear your favorite mask."