Awkward Enthusiast Gifts

'This is not a holdup. I've been a computer geek so long I've forgotten how to talk.'

"Ha ha. Stop by and say hello to your mother. Ha ha, that's a good one!"

"So. . . what's your work name do you the weather, isn't it?"

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"If you think the first half of this psychological test is intrusive, wait until you're grilled by me mother."

"God help us, it's that guy."

"All in favor of telling Anderson about that thing stuck to his lip, say aye."

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

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'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

"Rayna's been kidnapped! And its all my fault!"

"So, have you two been doing anything reproductive?"

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

"Gee, I hate gatherings like these! I never know the right thing to say..."

"Look, I know Estella has a boyfriend. I would never try to break them up. But it's not illegal to text friends...and we're still friends..."

'The school counselor says I have well-developed motor skills. Will you bring me a car?'

'I've never felt like this on a first date, Tom, you're suffocating me.'

'Your mother is not a good loser is she?'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: Alumnae News

"It's that time of year when guys randomly explode."

The originator of the office birthday party.

Bob had a lot to prove – which happens when you're wrong most of the time.

"I told him to trim a couple of inches off the middle and he thought it was a fat remark."

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."

'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."