Awkward Adolescence Aficionado Gifts

'It's probably a hormonal thing.'

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"Botox."

"God help us, it's that guy."

Sex Education Class: "Smirking or non smirking?"

"All in favor of telling Anderson about that thing stuck to his lip, say aye."

The end of innocence

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

"Don't worry, son.. everyone goes through the awkward teenage years."

Adult Book Store. Leaving home. Finding a Job. Getting Married. Buying a House. Raising Kids. Living with Stress.

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

How to injury yourself as an adult

"Gee, I hate gatherings like these! I never know the right thing to say..."

'I think I'm beginning to understand what sex is all about.'

'Your mother is not a good loser is she?'

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

Oh, The Putzing You'll Do

"I'll kiss you later. Catch! I meant catch you later!"

"We begin tonight with breaking news. LIFE has given a local teenager a rude awakening."

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

Girl to other re: Drama Class: 'Is that where all the girls gossip and fight over guys?'

Bob had a lot to prove – which happens when you're wrong most of the time.

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."

Man Struggling with Taxes/Clothing/Medical/Misc/Food/Shelter/Education.

"Damn it, when things were going well there was nothing but eye contact."

"For my bat mitzvah, my dad is getting me incorporated."

Group therapy for the socially retarded.

'Have a nice day! See you later!'

'You've got to wonder what goes on in their heads...'