Awkward Adolescence Appreciators Gifts

"Don't worry, son.. everyone goes through the awkward teenage years."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

Sex Education Class: "Smirking or non smirking?"

"I suppose I should have let a few minutes elapse between declaring my love for you and announcing that I also loved lobster."

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

"Put it on my tab."

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

Marilyn Manson Fan.

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

A cat and a dog are embarrassed to find themselves on an elevator together.

Turtle Blind dates

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

Recession the plus side: embarrassing 'water cooler moments' less frequent.

"It's not you, Glen—it's your ex-wife. She's behind me, isn't she?"

"So, is it like a foursome then, miss?"

'I think I'm beginning to understand what sex is all about.'

'Find out if she would have like me if I hadn't asked so many people.'

Teddy, do you know why I'm here? Want to, umm, ask me anything? So! That wraps it up! How did your "birds and bees" talk go? I answered all his questions.

'...and bring a friend. If you have one...'

"I'll kiss you later. Catch! I meant catch you later!"

'It's probably a hormonal thing.'

'Rick, could you take a seat somewhere else, please? For me to be seen with you is damaging to business!'

"Sergio, you know I don't snoop...but I was in Baldo's room this morning...and I found this."

The invisibility of the invisible man always ended in the most unfortunate places.

Al, why haven't you ever told me about the birds and the bees? Because I find ornithology and entomology even more embarrassing than sex.

"Ah, I'd give it a few minutes, pal. Maybe light a match."

"Oh, no - this introvert talked to me all night at a party, and I can't remember her name."

Evil Pusskins#3

"So, Carol tells me you're a baby."

'I've found this lump on my testicle, would you like to have a look?'

'He's beginning to notice girls.'

Feeling guilty about breaking up with Susan after just two dates, Brad made things easier by wearing his Hideous Back Hair Toupee to the beach.'

Flirtation