Awkward Adolescence Aficionados Gifts

'He's beginning to notice girls.'

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

"God help us, it's that guy."

"All in favor of telling Anderson about that thing stuck to his lip, say aye."

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

"Don't worry, son.. everyone goes through the awkward teenage years."

Adult Book Store. Leaving home. Finding a Job. Getting Married. Buying a House. Raising Kids. Living with Stress.

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

How to injury yourself as an adult

"I don't know how to say this but I've found someone else."

The Awkwardly Informal Meet Up Group

"Gee, I hate gatherings like these! I never know the right thing to say..."

I've got to run to my job interview! Do I have spinach between my teeth?

'I think I'm beginning to understand what sex is all about.'

'Your mother is not a good loser is she?'

"All you had to do was ASK us to leave!"

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

"Undress down to your underwear and have a seat. The optometrist will be in shortly."

Oh, The Putzing You'll Do

Man Struggling with Taxes/Clothing/Medical/Misc/Food/Shelter/Education.

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."

"I'll kiss you later. Catch! I meant catch you later!"

Bob had a lot to prove – which happens when you're wrong most of the time.

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

'Find out if she would have like me if I hadn't asked so many people.'

"Damn it, when things were going well there was nothing but eye contact."

'It's probably a hormonal thing.'

"I'm trying to decide between a cocktail with a cute name and one that's blatantly sexual."

Group therapy for the socially retarded.

Suffering from awkward bastard syndrome...please help.