Adulting Aficionado Gifts

How to injury yourself as an adult

Adult Book Store. Leaving home. Finding a Job. Getting Married. Buying a House. Raising Kids. Living with Stress.

Illusionist Secrets Revealed - "The functioning adult"

Man Struggling with Taxes/Clothing/Medical/Misc/Food/Shelter/Education.

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"Call me?"

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

'Okay then, what's the price break on TWENTY drinks?'

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

"Makes me wish I'd kept that gorilla suit."

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"There are no such things as problems, only opportunities."

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

Ed's receding hairline!

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

Martini Lovers

Narcissist in the tunnel of love.

'Good dog.'

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

The truth about the expulsion from paradise. . .

'We are now entering sombre hour, happy hour has finished.'

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."