Adult Film Aficionado Gifts

Ghost Porn

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Herman Mankiewicz

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Bloody hell!"

Steve McQueen

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

Getting to Know You

Kritik's Korner

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Canadian film production

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

Moby Dick

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

"You can tell it's a period drama because they're not wearing ozone helmets."

Jimmy Cagney.

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

Movies vs. Films

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

"Spoiler alert."

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"