Awkwardness Aficionados Gifts

"Let's take an excruciatingly awkward two minutes for people to trickle in."

Don't Forget - August 24th is Stranger's Day!

"All you had to do was ASK us to leave!"

'Tim, honey, I don't know how to say this...But...It's...It's your breath...It reeks of mint.'

'I've never been any good at saying goodbye'.

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

The Awkwardly Informal Meet Up Group

'Alright everybody, can we all be extra sweet to Brad today? Cause he's got mange.'

Suffering from awkward bastard syndrome...please help.

I've got to run to my job interview! Do I have spinach between my teeth?

"Don't ask your parents about the birds and bees."

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"God help us, it's that guy."

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

"All in favor of telling Anderson about that thing stuck to his lip, say aye."

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

A cat and a dog are embarrassed to find themselves on an elevator together.

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

"Gee, I hate gatherings like these! I never know the right thing to say..."

Recession the plus side: embarrassing 'water cooler moments' less frequent.

'I don't care how educationally beneficial you guys may thing it is, I am not showing you the girl's video. That's what google's for.'

"Mum, Dad, where was I downloaded from?"

'Your mother is not a good loser is she?'

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."

"Undress down to your underwear and have a seat. The optometrist will be in shortly."

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

"You should have told me you needed advice."