Awkwardness Admirer Gifts

"I've always felt awkward in social settings."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

'Eh...our costume party was last Saturday!'

"God help us, it's that guy."

"OK, I know that this is borderline inappropriate, but just hear me out ..."

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

"All in favor of telling Anderson about that thing stuck to his lip, say aye."

"Dear Mom and Dad: Thanks for the happy childhood. You've destroyed any chance I had of becoming a writer."

As years of unspoken tension surfaced, Trunky refused to raise his hand like a coward.

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

A cat and a dog are embarrassed to find themselves on an elevator together.

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

Cakeless.

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

'I don't care how educationally beneficial you guys may thing it is, I am not showing you the girl's video. That's what google's for.'

I've got to run to my job interview! Do I have spinach between my teeth?

The Awkwardly Informal Meet Up Group

Recession the plus side: embarrassing 'water cooler moments' less frequent.

"There's a little jelly or something on your chin."

"Gee, I hate gatherings like these! I never know the right thing to say..."

For the War Inventions Board. The Armoured Bayonet-curler for the Spoiling the Temper of the Enemy's Steel

"It's not you, Glen—it's your ex-wife. She's behind me, isn't she?"

'Your mother is not a good loser is she?'

"All you had to do was ASK us to leave!"

A man climbs a tree to try to blow out the sun.

Bob had a lot to prove – which happens when you're wrong most of the time.

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."