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"I've always felt awkward in social settings."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

'Eh...our costume party was last Saturday!'

"God help us, it's that guy."

"OK, I know that this is borderline inappropriate, but just hear me out ..."

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

"All in favor of telling Anderson about that thing stuck to his lip, say aye."

"Dear Mom and Dad: Thanks for the happy childhood. You've destroyed any chance I had of becoming a writer."

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

As years of unspoken tension surfaced, Trunky refused to raise his hand like a coward.

A cat and a dog are embarrassed to find themselves on an elevator together.

Cakeless.

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

"Gee, I hate gatherings like these! I never know the right thing to say..."

"It's not you, Glen—it's your ex-wife. She's behind me, isn't she?"

I've got to run to my job interview! Do I have spinach between my teeth?

"There's a little jelly or something on your chin."

Recession the plus side: embarrassing 'water cooler moments' less frequent.

For the War Inventions Board. The Armoured Bayonet-curler for the Spoiling the Temper of the Enemy's Steel

The Awkwardly Informal Meet Up Group

"All you had to do was ASK us to leave!"

'Your mother is not a good loser is she?'

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."

A man climbs a tree to try to blow out the sun.

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

"You should have told me you needed advice."

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

He couldn't put his finger on it but something told Colin the date wasn't going well.