Awkwardness Connoisseur Gifts

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"If you think the first half of this psychological test is intrusive, wait until you're grilled by me mother."

"Ma'am, why don't you go ahead of me?" "Um... no thanks. Let's let this gentleman go ahead of us." "Oh, no... you ladies go right ahead!"

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

"God help us, it's that guy."

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

"All in favor of telling Anderson about that thing stuck to his lip, say aye."

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

Whilst browsing in his local flea market, Jimmy has an awkward encounter with an ex.

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"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

A cat and a dog are embarrassed to find themselves on an elevator together.

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"Look, I know Estella has a boyfriend. I would never try to break them up. But it's not illegal to text friends...and we're still friends..."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

The Awkwardly Informal Meet Up Group

'I don't care how educationally beneficial you guys may thing it is, I am not showing you the girl's video. That's what google's for.'

I've got to run to my job interview! Do I have spinach between my teeth?

'Excuse me, Mr. Pavlik, but that gentleman you called an idiot is here. Should I still say you're not in?'

Recession the plus side: embarrassing 'water cooler moments' less frequent.

"Gee, I hate gatherings like these! I never know the right thing to say..."

"So, have you two been doing anything reproductive?"

'I've never felt like this on a first date, Tom, you're suffocating me.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: Alumnae News

"All you had to do was ASK us to leave!"

'Your mother is not a good loser is she?'