Awkwardness Appreciators Gifts

Overweight man asking girl to dance

Showbiz Awards

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

"I suppose I should have let a few minutes elapse between declaring my love for you and announcing that I also loved lobster."

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"Such a cute doggie! And I'll bet you make the cutest poopies too, don't you?"

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"God help us, it's that guy."

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

"All in favor of telling Anderson about that thing stuck to his lip, say aye."

'By the way Adrian, it unfastens at the front.'

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

"Are you blushing?!"

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"Say these things, don't think them!"

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

Speed Dating Disasters

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

"Don't worry, son.. everyone goes through the awkward teenage years."

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'

The Adventures of Morton - Harmless juggler.

A cat and a dog are embarrassed to find themselves on an elevator together.

"Hi, I'm on the toilet"