Awkward Adolescence Appreciators Pillows

"Don't worry, son.. everyone goes through the awkward teenage years."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

Sex Education Class: "Smirking or non smirking?"

"I suppose I should have let a few minutes elapse between declaring my love for you and announcing that I also loved lobster."

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

"Put it on my tab."

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

A cat and a dog are embarrassed to find themselves on an elevator together.

Marilyn Manson Fan.

Recession the plus side: embarrassing 'water cooler moments' less frequent.

"So, is it like a foursome then, miss?"

"It's not you, Glen—it's your ex-wife. She's behind me, isn't she?"

'I think I'm beginning to understand what sex is all about.'

'Find out if she would have like me if I hadn't asked so many people.'

'...and bring a friend. If you have one...'

"I'll kiss you later. Catch! I meant catch you later!"

'It's probably a hormonal thing.'

'Rick, could you take a seat somewhere else, please? For me to be seen with you is damaging to business!'

Evil Pusskins#3

"Ah, I'd give it a few minutes, pal. Maybe light a match."

The invisibility of the invisible man always ended in the most unfortunate places.

"Oh, no - this introvert talked to me all night at a party, and I can't remember her name."

"Sergio, you know I don't snoop...but I was in Baldo's room this morning...and I found this."

"So, Carol tells me you're a baby."

'I've found this lump on my testicle, would you like to have a look?'

'He's beginning to notice girls.'

Flirtation

"Frankly, he's a lousy sober."