Awkward Adolescence Appreciator Pillows

"That growth spurt I was waiting for didn't quite turn out the way I'd hoped."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

Sex Education Class: "Smirking or non smirking?"

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

"Put it on my tab."

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

"Don't worry, son.. everyone goes through the awkward teenage years."

Marilyn Manson Fan.

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

A cat and a dog are embarrassed to find themselves on an elevator together.

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

"It's not you, Glen—it's your ex-wife. She's behind me, isn't she?"

"Sure I'm Alfred the Great now, but in high school I couldn't get a date."

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

'I get a lot of job offers..'

Recession the plus side: embarrassing 'water cooler moments' less frequent.

'I think I'm beginning to understand what sex is all about.'

Godot Bound And Gagged In A Dark Office

'...and bring a friend. If you have one...'

"I'll kiss you later. Catch! I meant catch you later!"

'Rick, could you take a seat somewhere else, please? For me to be seen with you is damaging to business!'

'It's probably a hormonal thing.'

"Ah, I'd give it a few minutes, pal. Maybe light a match."

"Oh, no - this introvert talked to me all night at a party, and I can't remember her name."

"Sergio, you know I don't snoop...but I was in Baldo's room this morning...and I found this."

"So, Carol tells me you're a baby."

'I've found this lump on my testicle, would you like to have a look?'

'He's beginning to notice girls.'