Awkward Teen Moments Appreciator Pillows

Teddy, do you know why I'm here? Want to, umm, ask me anything? So! That wraps it up! How did your "birds and bees" talk go? I answered all his questions.

"Actually, you're kinda cute. I don't see why a girl like you and a guy like me can't...."

Showbiz Awards

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

When we met, you told me you make a lousy first impression. Well, guess what: You also make a lousy second impression. Actually, my only decent impression is Kirk Douglas. Wanna hear it?

You're so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you, even though there's a fly in my soup doing the backstroke, which is comedy gold!

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

"You and your daft inventions."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Sex Education Class: "Smirking or non smirking?"

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"I suppose I should have let a few minutes elapse between declaring my love for you and announcing that I also loved lobster."

"Such a cute doggie! And I'll bet you make the cutest poopies too, don't you?"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

Baldo's How to Be Uncool: No. 5. Forget how hot the coffee is while you're thinking how cool you look sitting in a coffee shop.

Speed Dating Disasters

"No surgery. I'm just trying to hide a pimple."

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

"Say these things, don't think them!"

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"Are you blushing?!"

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

'By the way Adrian, it unfastens at the front.'

"If that girl sent over a double cappuccino, maybe you should go talk to her!"

"Don't worry, son.. everyone goes through the awkward teenage years."

"What an awful morning. I left home without my phone."

"Can the bride refrain from twitching her entire left side?"

Marilyn Manson Fan.

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'

The Adventures of Morton - Harmless juggler.

"Hi, I'm on the toilet"