Awkward Moments Appreciator Pillows

'Your body language would suggest you're not having the best time on our first date.'

'Take a nice, deep breath and let it out.'

"Now in the second law of thermodynamics..."

'Brian hated his long legs and dinner parties'

"I'm an obsessive compulsive but not necessisarily in that order."

Ha!...I was right! He wasn't taking a nap, he was in the shower!

'C'mon, Billy, we need another quarter!'

"Oh, that's embarrassing, it is a stick."

'Hello, I'm drunk.'

'If I go on a double date, does that mean I'll get to second base?'

'By the way Adrian, it unfastens at the front.'

'I dare you to ask Jeeves about the birds and the bees!'

'My life coach tells me I find you very attractive.'

'I'd like you to meet George...!'

"So what's the deal? Why did Cruz call me your girlfriend?"

Nobody Special Label

"I don't feel we've known each other long enough to sit in a booth."

The Adventures of Morton - Harmless juggler.

"Say these things, don't think them!"

Wally finds himself sharing a table with vegetarians.

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

'Nicely executed paper trail, Bill. Too bad it's from the rest room.'

An insect lands on a young man's nose just as he is about to talk to some girls.

When we met, you told me you make a lousy first impression. Well, guess what: You also make a lousy second impression. Actually, my only decent impression is Kirk Douglas. Wanna hear it?

On a scale of 1-10, what would you say your painfully awkward level is?

If that's for me, I'm not here. And even if it's not for me, I still wish I weren't here. Ring.

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

"Any other weaknesses?"

"Was there ever a boy scout badge for 'caution'?"

Showbiz Awards

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'