Awkward Moments Collector Pillows

'Price check on the size 46 teddy bear pattern boxer shorts.'

"What do you mean 'paper or plastic'? Have you ever used condoms before?"

Zit: Pus based life-form whose main habitat is the teenage face. Normally peaceable, but he can react violently if threatened.

Ned thinks back to his youth.

'Two out of three isn't bad, Harold. My mother and father like you, but I don't.'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'You! You were my blind date last night.'

Showbiz Awards

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

"It was romantic during dinner, but now it's getting kind of creepy."

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

You're so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you, even though there's a fly in my soup doing the backstroke, which is comedy gold!

Clown's Cuckoo Clock.

When we met, you told me you make a lousy first impression. Well, guess what: You also make a lousy second impression. Actually, my only decent impression is Kirk Douglas. Wanna hear it?

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...

"You and your daft inventions."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

The awkwardness of one's first officeplace fist-bump.

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

"Such a cute doggie! And I'll bet you make the cutest poopies too, don't you?"

"I suppose I should have let a few minutes elapse between declaring my love for you and announcing that I also loved lobster."

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

'Show one more kitten photo,lady and the next time you see me will be on a 'missing' poster!'

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"No surgery. I'm just trying to hide a pimple."

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

"On a scale of 1-10, how painfully awkward is this?"

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

"If that girl sent over a double cappuccino, maybe you should go talk to her!"