Awkward Moment Appreciators Pillows

"You look even better in person than you did on the dressing-room surveillance camera."

"I suppose I should have let a few minutes elapse between declaring my love for you and announcing that I also loved lobster."

"So, is it like a foursome then, miss?"

The invisibility of the invisible man always ended in the most unfortunate places.

'Can I have my own restroom? I suffer from chronic diarrhea.'

"I feel I ought to tell you I'm just the receptionist."

Evil Pusskins#3

"Well this is awkward!"

"I'm a very nice guy. If I had friends, you could ask them."

Showbiz Awards

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

When we met, you told me you make a lousy first impression. Well, guess what: You also make a lousy second impression. Actually, my only decent impression is Kirk Douglas. Wanna hear it?

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...

You're so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you, even though there's a fly in my soup doing the backstroke, which is comedy gold!

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

"You and your daft inventions."

'Eh...our costume party was last Saturday!'

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"Such a cute doggie! And I'll bet you make the cutest poopies too, don't you?"

"OK, I know that this is borderline inappropriate, but just hear me out ..."

'Show one more kitten photo,lady and the next time you see me will be on a 'missing' poster!'

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

'Look. . . for the last time, I'm not playin' 'footsie' with you!'

"On a scale of 1-10, how painfully awkward is this?"

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."