Awkward Moments Appreciators Pillows

"Nice to meet you. I only date during the off-season"

Showbiz Awards

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

You're so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you, even though there's a fly in my soup doing the backstroke, which is comedy gold!

When we met, you told me you make a lousy first impression. Well, guess what: You also make a lousy second impression. Actually, my only decent impression is Kirk Douglas. Wanna hear it?

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

'Eh...our costume party was last Saturday!'

"You and your daft inventions."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"I suppose I should have let a few minutes elapse between declaring my love for you and announcing that I also loved lobster."

"Such a cute doggie! And I'll bet you make the cutest poopies too, don't you?"

'Show one more kitten photo,lady and the next time you see me will be on a 'missing' poster!'

"OK, I know that this is borderline inappropriate, but just hear me out ..."

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"Say these things, don't think them!"

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

'By the way Adrian, it unfastens at the front.'

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

"If that girl sent over a double cappuccino, maybe you should go talk to her!"

Speed Dating Disasters

'Look. . . for the last time, I'm not playin' 'footsie' with you!'

"On a scale of 1-10, how painfully awkward is this?"

Baldo's How to Be Uncool: No. 5. Forget how hot the coffee is while you're thinking how cool you look sitting in a coffee shop.

As years of unspoken tension surfaced, Trunky refused to raise his hand like a coward.

"Are you blushing?!"