Awkward Introduction Aficionado Gifts

"Please to meet you, though I'm sorry about the circumstances."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"Dr Andrea Patterson; animal behaviour."

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"Tell me about yourself... what you do, where you live, the last four digits of your social security number..."

Man wearing t-shirt with "As seen" slogan

'Hi, I'm Raoul...I shall be your talking point of the evening.'

'I don't care how educationally beneficial you guys may thing it is, I am not showing you the girl's video. That's what google's for.'

"Gee, I hate gatherings like these! I never know the right thing to say..."

Why do we have pistols? I thought we were back-to-back to see who is taller!

Friendly Fire: 'Good to see you, Geoff. . . wife and kids ok? How's the garden looking this summer? You're sacked!'

'Your mother is not a good loser is she?'

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

'No, I thought you were John Simpson.'

'Bill, I'm sorry to hear about your going into the hospital. Is it a MALE problem?'

"What? The invitation said, wear your favorite mask."

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

"Damn it, when things were going well there was nothing but eye contact."

'Thank you for that kind introduction, Ed, but frankly, I would've liked a little further ado.'

"Goodbye and have a wonderful day!" "Ugh! Don’t tell me what to do, okay!?!"

"I'm trying to decide between a cocktail with a cute name and one that's blatantly sexual."

Group therapy for the socially retarded.

"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."

'Have a nice day! See you later!'

"I hope we haven't come at a bad time."

"We're not that kind of SWAT team, ma'am."

'Mom, who are all these people?' 'I invited all the people you've friended on-line.'

'Mom, did I come preassembled or did you and dad have to put me together?'