Awkward Introduction Aficionado Pillows

"Please to meet you, though I'm sorry about the circumstances."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"Dr Andrea Patterson; animal behaviour."

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"Tell me about yourself... what you do, where you live, the last four digits of your social security number..."

"Gee, I hate gatherings like these! I never know the right thing to say..."

'Hi, I'm Raoul...I shall be your talking point of the evening.'

Friendly Fire: 'Good to see you, Geoff. . . wife and kids ok? How's the garden looking this summer? You're sacked!'

'Your mother is not a good loser is she?'

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

"What? The invitation said, wear your favorite mask."

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

'Bill, I'm sorry to hear about your going into the hospital. Is it a MALE problem?'

'No, I thought you were John Simpson.'

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."

"Damn it, when things were going well there was nothing but eye contact."

'Thank you for that kind introduction, Ed, but frankly, I would've liked a little further ado.'

"I hope we haven't come at a bad time."

Group therapy for the socially retarded.

"Goodbye and have a wonderful day!" "Ugh! Don’t tell me what to do, okay!?!"

"I'm trying to decide between a cocktail with a cute name and one that's blatantly sexual."

'Have a nice day! See you later!'

"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."

'Mom, who are all these people?' 'I invited all the people you've friended on-line.'

'Mom, did I come preassembled or did you and dad have to put me together?'

Wasn't sure why, or even what it meant, but sometimes he just needed to make his presence felt.