Socially Awkward Enthusiast Pillows

"Enough about my penis. What's new with the ol' vagina?"

'I won't be sociable, I won't be ....'

"I don't think Bob has quite got the hang of the fist bump."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"God help us, it's that guy."

"All in favor of telling Anderson about that thing stuck to his lip, say aye."

Introverted Chair

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

Superhero Introverts

'Some things are better left unsaid but I never know what they are until after I've said them.'

'I don't care how educationally beneficial you guys may thing it is, I am not showing you the girl's video. That's what google's for.'

Shy Man at Party

"Please to meet you, though I'm sorry about the circumstances."

"Gee, I hate gatherings like these! I never know the right thing to say..."

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

'Your mother is not a good loser is she?'

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

Bob had a lot to prove – which happens when you're wrong most of the time.

Lenny, the Fifth Wheel of the Apocalypse

'Boy...it can be awkward meeting the parents for the first time.'

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."

"Damn it, when things were going well there was nothing but eye contact."

'I hate networking.'

Group therapy for the socially retarded.

"You smell like wet cardboard."

"I'm trying to decide between a cocktail with a cute name and one that's blatantly sexual."

'Have a nice day! See you later!'

'You've got to wonder what goes on in their heads...'

"I'm terrible at small talk. Just scan me."

'Let's just see how long they can stay crouched behind the sofa.'

"You were a schlub in all of your previous lives, too."