Army Life Satirist Gifts

"I'll take the bottom bunk."

Cat in a tank...

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

French Army knife

'...and this is the Mess.'

"Did you call for a Medic?"

'Does my bum look big in this?'

'At last! Some decent kit.'

Banting in the Yeomanry

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

Hague Convention Defied! Failure of the new Tommy-Scalder.

At a Country House

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'

The Bengal Lancers/Bingo Lancers/Bagel Lancers/Bungle Lancers

"Whoever made fun of my hat better step forward now, or I'll turn this march around!"

US Camouflage School

The Emperor of Irony

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

Technical specifications: semi-automatic 1.2 mm cartoon launcher. 7.5 inch barrels holds a full stick of graphite. Fires rounds of sarcasm, satire and spoofs. Takes out religious fanatics with sharp wit.

'President George P. D. Q. ?3 Bush today called for Gulf War VIII'....'

Beware of the dog.

'I know you didn't just reach through the torpedo tube and grab those fish.'

"The bomb destroys only all life but not object! This means that our troops can have fun plundering and pillaging. War doesn't have to be inhuman, right?"

"It's from Private Ryan...Wish you were here."

The origin of 'Rorke's drift' has long been a subject of intense speculation.

"What do you think the delivery time is on a drone pizza?"

“Sarge, could you please stop trying to hold my hand!”

Soldier Walking Peacock.

'My doc says I carry a lot of hostility with me.'

Man in a tank with several grannies painted on the side

"It's a smaller, less destructive nuclear weapon, but it's also a hat."

'I don't know what I ordered, but I think it's going to be good!'

A Cow Tank.