Military Satire Gifts

"Hold on - I'll call in an air strike."

"Two?"

Possum Army HQ. Here's the casualty report, sir --- You have to take it with a grain of salt, of course.

'Can you smell something'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Cat in a tank...

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

'At ease, soldier.'

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

'Who said the Germans don't have a sense of humour? Just look at that card Hans Greber and we have haven't been shot at all day.'

'...and this is the Mess.'

'Does my bum look big in this?'

French Army knife

"Did you call for a Medic?"

'At last! Some decent kit.'

At a Country House

Banting in the Yeomanry

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'

Hague Convention Defied! Failure of the new Tommy-Scalder.

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'

The Emperor of Irony

'I know you didn't just reach through the torpedo tube and grab those fish.'

The Bengal Lancers/Bingo Lancers/Bagel Lancers/Bungle Lancers

Technical specifications: semi-automatic 1.2 mm cartoon launcher. 7.5 inch barrels holds a full stick of graphite. Fires rounds of sarcasm, satire and spoofs. Takes out religious fanatics with sharp wit.

"The bomb destroys only all life but not object! This means that our troops can have fun plundering and pillaging. War doesn't have to be inhuman, right?"

Peacekeeping?

US Camouflage School

'President George P. D. Q. ?3 Bush today called for Gulf War VIII'....'

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

Beware of the dog.

"Whoever made fun of my hat better step forward now, or I'll turn this march around!"

The origin of 'Rorke's drift' has long been a subject of intense speculation.