Military Satire Lovers Gifts

A Series of Misadventures.

Army officer visiting optometrist having a reading test - Boom, kaboom, wham, pow pow, bang bang.

"Let's see, this one is cherry flavored, I think this one is blueberry ..."

'Me? Morale Officer? --Why do you always pick on ME?'

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

"You can let that go till later, Harris."

Hague Convention Defied! Failure of the new Tommy-Scalder.

Ad Valorem

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'I keep yelling at my privates.'

'Hamster Swat Team.'

"Bad news Darling, I'm going to be posted abroad"

'When you ordered the troops to charge, sire, they went into town and ran up a huge bar tab.'

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

"Dear Mum, please stop sending me food parcels..."

"It varies, but offhand I'd say around 750 'bang-bangs' equal one 'boom'."

“Sarge, could you please stop trying to hold my hand!”

Really big bang

"Is something funny, soldier?"

"Boots on the ground are one thing. Boots on my table quite another."

'General practitoner'

Cat tipping a fish out of a bird box

The changing of the guard.

'We had no idea you were coming' - ACME Stealth Missile

"So...were they open to negotiations?"

'You do realise we are going to have to kill you!'

'It was the only white thing I had.'

'By the way, what are we in line for?'

"I might be able to offer you a test drive."

"Duty calling on line two, sir."

'March up that hill! And smile once in awhile, will you!'

Army PR: 'Okay,stand to attention men! Here comes the Brigadeer!'

The True Reason of War. A Little Frontier Incident in Alsace, July 1914.

I'm glad I'm wearing boxers!