Military Satire Fan Gifts

'Excellent strategy, General...Though I fear the enemy might be full size...'

'It was the only white thing I had.'

'I get sea-sick, I can't swim but I rather fancy a little desk job like yours.'

"Listen up! When I yell 'hop' you say 'how high?!'"

"Level with me, Colonel. What kind of worst-case scenario are we talking about here?"

"I'm launching a special submarine operation!"

"I have been trained to kill since birth!"

101 uses of a dead cat: missile

"There's a UN Task force at the door. Know anything about it?

Recyclable bomb.

'Will you take a Czech?'

Careers Advice - 'I'd like to be an ethical arms dealer.'

"Stop playing around and put it back in you knapsack"

The Reserve Forces.

Can't Win For Losing

Torture Budget Cuts

Get Ready for the Next One

"The 2.3 billion dollar item, is that before or after the manufacturer's rebate?"

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

The camouflage in vietnam was more comfortable

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

"You can let that go till later, Harris."

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

Hague Convention Defied! Failure of the new Tommy-Scalder.

'Hamster Swat Team.'

"Bad news Darling, I'm going to be posted abroad"

'Is your security clearance top sacred?'

'When you ordered the troops to charge, sire, they went into town and ran up a huge bar tab.'

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

"Dear Mum, please stop sending me food parcels..."

'You do realise we are going to have to kill you!'

"It varies, but offhand I'd say around 750 'bang-bangs' equal one 'boom'."

"Is something funny, soldier?"