Military Satire Enthusiasts Gifts

'We get Lt. Withers to play a French dandy and try to intimidate the new recruits.'

'At ease, soldier.'

"Let's see, this one is cherry flavored, I think this one is blueberry ..."

'Me? Morale Officer? --Why do you always pick on ME?'

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

"You can let that go till later, Harris."

Hague Convention Defied! Failure of the new Tommy-Scalder.

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

'I keep yelling at my privates.'

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

'Hamster Swat Team.'

Peacekeeping?

'When you ordered the troops to charge, sire, they went into town and ran up a huge bar tab.'

"Bad news Darling, I'm going to be posted abroad"

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

"Dear Mum, please stop sending me food parcels..."

'At the moment, it's only weakness is flypaper.' - (spyplane research dept.)

“Sarge, could you please stop trying to hold my hand!”

Reserve Ants

Army barber says: 'Don't say 'Surprise me', soldier. I've never managed that yet.'

Really big bang

"Boots on the ground are one thing. Boots on my table quite another."

'General practitoner'

'... Now this releases me from any liability. And this form ...' 'Fred's legal experiences in civilian life interfered with his work in a war zone.'

'You do realise we are going to have to kill you!'

Cat tipping a fish out of a bird box

"Is something funny, soldier?"

The changing of the guard.

'We had no idea you were coming' - ACME Stealth Missile

"It varies, but offhand I'd say around 750 'bang-bangs' equal one 'boom'."

'It was the only white thing I had.'

'By the way, what are we in line for?'

The True Reason of War. A Little Frontier Incident in Alsace, July 1914.

Army PR: 'Okay,stand to attention men! Here comes the Brigadeer!'