Military Satirists Gifts

Salvaging the F-35

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Cat in a tank...

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

'At ease, soldier.'

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

'Who said the Germans don't have a sense of humour? Just look at that card Hans Greber and we have haven't been shot at all day.'

"Let's see, this one is cherry flavored, I think this one is blueberry ..."

French Army knife

'...and this is the Mess.'

'Does my bum look big in this?'

"Did you call for a Medic?"

'At last! Some decent kit.'

'Me? Morale Officer? --Why do you always pick on ME?'

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'

At a Country House

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

Banting in the Yeomanry

Hague Convention Defied! Failure of the new Tommy-Scalder.

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'

'I keep yelling at my privates.'

US Camouflage School

The Emperor of Irony

Peacekeeping?

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

'President George P. D. Q. ?3 Bush today called for Gulf War VIII'....'

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

"Whoever made fun of my hat better step forward now, or I'll turn this march around!"

The Bengal Lancers/Bingo Lancers/Bagel Lancers/Bungle Lancers

"The bomb destroys only all life but not object! This means that our troops can have fun plundering and pillaging. War doesn't have to be inhuman, right?"

'I know you didn't just reach through the torpedo tube and grab those fish.'

Technical specifications: semi-automatic 1.2 mm cartoon launcher. 7.5 inch barrels holds a full stick of graphite. Fires rounds of sarcasm, satire and spoofs. Takes out religious fanatics with sharp wit.

Beware of the dog.

"It's from Private Ryan...Wish you were here."