Military Humor Fan Gifts

'Wrong door! The government committee considering legalizing marijuana is thataway.'

A Very Civil War

"You can let that go till later, Harris."

'You do realise we are going to have to kill you!'

Major Birthday

'Combat would be okay, as long as I don't have to Parallel Park!'

'Our new Iranian roadside bombs sure pack a wallop!'

Ministry of Defence: IN and OUT trays

Henry was hoping nobody would notice that he had lost his helmet...

General Practitioner

"Get rid of that. You're supposed to show a stiff upper lip!"

Rear Admiral.

'This is fine, General, but how are your typing skills?'

Metropolitan Marines

Casual Friday.

"Not on my watch, soldier!"

'When you ordered the troops to charge, sire, they went into town and ran up a huge bar tab.'

How's my Aiming?

'Salutes certainly have deteriorated since we allowed openly gay men in the military.'

The changing of the guard.

'Could you stay right there for a few minutes? I want to dry my hair.'

Our Reserves - The Battle of Amesbury

"Duty calling on line two, sir."

Everybody knows you've never been promoted because you're a bad soldier, Ernie. You're not fooling anybody with that "I just like my privacy" line.

Ernie, there are many types of camps for young people, like math camp and science camp. Sports camps are popular, soccer camp for example. Of course, there's music camp and drama camp. These are knee-high, but I like all styles. Call me "Drill Sergeant"!! Sometimes "boot camp" is misunderstood.

"Jeremy regrets joining The Swiss Army."

"Let's keep an eye on this fella."

"I may not be home tonight, … I'm imbedded with the troops."

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Cat in a tank...

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

'Who said the Germans don't have a sense of humour? Just look at that card Hans Greber and we have haven't been shot at all day.'

French Army knife