Military Humor Fan Pillows

'Wrong door! The government committee considering legalizing marijuana is thataway.'

"You can let that go till later, Harris."

'You do realise we are going to have to kill you!'

Major Birthday

'Combat would be okay, as long as I don't have to Parallel Park!'

'Our new Iranian roadside bombs sure pack a wallop!'

Ministry of Defence: IN and OUT trays

Henry was hoping nobody would notice that he had lost his helmet...

General Practitioner

"Get rid of that. You're supposed to show a stiff upper lip!"

'This is fine, General, but how are your typing skills?'

Metropolitan Marines

Casual Friday.

"Not on my watch, soldier!"

How's my Aiming?

'Salutes certainly have deteriorated since we allowed openly gay men in the military.'

The changing of the guard.

'Could you stay right there for a few minutes? I want to dry my hair.'

Our Reserves - The Battle of Amesbury

"Duty calling on line two, sir."

"Jeremy regrets joining The Swiss Army."

"Let's keep an eye on this fella."

"I may not be home tonight, … I'm imbedded with the troops."

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Cat in a tank...

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

'Who said the Germans don't have a sense of humour? Just look at that card Hans Greber and we have haven't been shot at all day.'

'...and this is the Mess.'

'Does my bum look big in this?'

French Army knife

"Did you call for a Medic?"

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

'Me? Morale Officer? --Why do you always pick on ME?'