Lover Of Military Humor Pillows

'Soldier, we don't discuss Murphy's Law and the War on Terror in the same breath around here!'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Cat in a tank...

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

'At ease, soldier.'

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

'Who said the Germans don't have a sense of humour? Just look at that card Hans Greber and we have haven't been shot at all day.'

'...and this is the Mess.'

French Army knife

"Let's see, this one is cherry flavored, I think this one is blueberry ..."

'Does my bum look big in this?'

"Did you call for a Medic?"

'Me? Morale Officer? --Why do you always pick on ME?'

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

"You can let that go till later, Harris."

'At last! Some decent kit.'

Banting in the Yeomanry

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'

Your Country Needs MOO!

Ad Valorem

Hague Convention Defied! Failure of the new Tommy-Scalder.

At a Country House

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'

'It's only a slug Norman.'

Beware of the dog.

The Emperor of Irony

"Whoever made fun of my hat better step forward now, or I'll turn this march around!"

The Bengal Lancers/Bingo Lancers/Bagel Lancers/Bungle Lancers

'I know you didn't just reach through the torpedo tube and grab those fish.'

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

'Hamster Swat Team.'