Military Humor Aficionado Gifts

"Soldier, you're out of uniform ..."

Really big bang

To recap: Last week, Rudy attended the Sadie Cohen's Attitude Adjustment and Rapid Response Training Seminar. In case you missed it, a flashback. Drop and give me 20 highly-personal insults. Drop? You call yourself a lady? No, wait, what? But then magic happened. Drop, and give me … Pipe down, bearded lady. Rudy Shock Jock is in the house!

The Boche Catcher

'Caruthers, I accuse you of perverting the course of justice.'

'Another wrist injury? As often as you've been treated, we should come up with a name for this mysterious syndrome, corporal.'

'Sir, the enemy developed a weapon that will wipe out all culture except for elevator music and black velvet paintings.'

'When I said 'pack for action' I didn't mean...'

'I never forget the launch code. It's the same as my account number at Blockbuster.'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Cat in a tank...

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

'At ease, soldier.'

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

'Who said the Germans don't have a sense of humour? Just look at that card Hans Greber and we have haven't been shot at all day.'

"Let's see, this one is cherry flavored, I think this one is blueberry ..."

French Army knife

'...and this is the Mess.'

'Does my bum look big in this?'

"Did you call for a Medic?"

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

'At last! Some decent kit.'

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

'Me? Morale Officer? --Why do you always pick on ME?'

"You can let that go till later, Harris."

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

Ad Valorem

Banting in the Yeomanry

At a Country House

Your Country Needs MOO!

Hague Convention Defied! Failure of the new Tommy-Scalder.

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'