Military Humor Aficionado Gifts

"Soldier, you're out of uniform ..."

Really big bang

The Boche Catcher

'Caruthers, I accuse you of perverting the course of justice.'

'Another wrist injury? As often as you've been treated, we should come up with a name for this mysterious syndrome, corporal.'

'Sir, the enemy developed a weapon that will wipe out all culture except for elevator music and black velvet paintings.'

'When I said 'pack for action' I didn't mean...'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Cat in a tank...

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

'At ease, soldier.'

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

'Who said the Germans don't have a sense of humour? Just look at that card Hans Greber and we have haven't been shot at all day.'

'Does my bum look big in this?'

French Army knife

"Did you call for a Medic?"

'...and this is the Mess.'

'Me? Morale Officer? --Why do you always pick on ME?'

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

'At last! Some decent kit.'

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

"You can let that go till later, Harris."

Ad Valorem

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'

Banting in the Yeomanry

At a Country House

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

Hague Convention Defied! Failure of the new Tommy-Scalder.

Your Country Needs MOO!

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'

"Bad news Darling, I'm going to be posted abroad"

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.