Military Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'...and then he made me run through a muddy puddle!!'

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

'You put your right foot in . . . '

'I got this one for being the one millionth patron at the burlesque bar.'

'By the way, what are we in line for?'

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

"Dear Mum, please stop sending me food parcels..."

RAF interviews - '...and what experience do you have as a kamikaze pilot?'

'Do you have a Beret in a more subtle shade of green?'- Phillipa Tattersall, first female Green Beret.

'If I were you I wouldn't eat this on an empty stomach.'

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

"I didn't see you at camouflage practice today, soldier!"

Soldier's helmet and turtle's shell.

Outgoing box is a catapult.

Army Recruitment: 'Right Son, kick once if you want signals and twice if you want to go in the infantry.'

'Hamster Swat Team.'

Supply and demand.

Buck private, corporal punishment, general delivery, major disappointment.

'It's our latest weapon, General. It makes the enemy's clothes disappear and they die from embarrassment.'

'What a nightmare! I dreamed the world had one hundred years of peace!'

'I know I said 'at ease'...but not to that extent.'

"I'm not homophobic, but could you read that inside a copy of Men Only."

'Wanna talk shop?'

'Men, I need a volunteer to tell me how deep this water is!'

Grand Old Duke of York's Regiment

'Soldier, honey, you have some serious dandruff on your shoulders.'

"Bad news Darling, I'm going to be posted abroad"

'It's mostly gay now, so why the hell can't the navy be our totally gay service!'

'I think we should stop talking about our target demographic.'

'The general won't be in today - his trigger finger is itchy!'

Messages on bombs say: 'Eat this!', 'In your face', 'Hello hope this finds you well ...'

"It varies, but offhand I'd say around 750 'bang-bangs' equal one 'boom'."

"Boots on the ground are one thing. Boots on my table quite another."

"Then it's agreed. I'll send you a lieutenant in exchange for a clerk typist and a staff sergeant."

"It's the officers foxhole."