Military Comedy Fan Gifts

Hague Convention Defied - Use of Laughing Gas.

'Craig Venter is positive, sir. You take an empty cell, fill with Euro soccer hooligan DVD, multiply and defeat the Taliban!'

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

"Let's see, this one is cherry flavored, I think this one is blueberry ..."

"You can let that go till later, Harris."

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

'Me? Morale Officer? --Why do you always pick on ME?'

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

Ad Valorem

Your Country Needs MOO!

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'I keep yelling at my privates.'

"Bad news Darling, I'm going to be posted abroad"

Recruit Depot - Barber. That barber is fast! He knows a short-cut!

'Is your security clearance top sacred?'

'Hamster Swat Team.'

'When you ordered the troops to charge, sire, they went into town and ran up a huge bar tab.'

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

"Dear Mum, please stop sending me food parcels..."

"So...were they open to negotiations?"

“Sarge, could you please stop trying to hold my hand!”

Cat tipping a fish out of a bird box

Really big bang

'We had no idea you were coming' - ACME Stealth Missile

"Is something funny, soldier?"

'General practitoner'

'Rabbit Leader here, No, you may NOT return to base because your sock keeps botching up,'

The changing of the guard.

"It varies, but offhand I'd say around 750 'bang-bangs' equal one 'boom'."

'You do realise we are going to have to kill you!'

"Boots on the ground are one thing. Boots on my table quite another."

'It was the only white thing I had.'

'By the way, what are we in line for?'

'Completed the pyramid, eh? Now take it down to the ground.'

"Duty calling on line two, sir."