Military Comedy Fan Gifts

Hague Convention Defied - Use of Laughing Gas.

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

"You can let that go till later, Harris."

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

'Me? Morale Officer? --Why do you always pick on ME?'

Ad Valorem

Your Country Needs MOO!

'It's only a slug Norman.'

"Bad news Darling, I'm going to be posted abroad"

'Is your security clearance top sacred?'

'I keep yelling at my privates.'

'Hamster Swat Team.'

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

"Dear Mum, please stop sending me food parcels..."

Cat tipping a fish out of a bird box

“Sarge, could you please stop trying to hold my hand!”

'General practitoner'

Really big bang

"So...were they open to negotiations?"

'We had no idea you were coming' - ACME Stealth Missile

"It varies, but offhand I'd say around 750 'bang-bangs' equal one 'boom'."

'Rabbit Leader here, No, you may NOT return to base because your sock keeps botching up,'

The changing of the guard.

'You do realise we are going to have to kill you!'

"Boots on the ground are one thing. Boots on my table quite another."

'It was the only white thing I had.'

'By the way, what are we in line for?'

"Then it's agreed. I'll send you a lieutenant in exchange for a clerk typist and a staff sergeant."

Army PR: 'Okay,stand to attention men! Here comes the Brigadeer!'

"Duty calling on line two, sir."

'Completed the pyramid, eh? Now take it down to the ground.'