Satirical Soldier Gifts

Dangerous Mural

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

Hague Convention Defied! Failure of the new Tommy-Scalder.

'Because only men can believe than 1 inch equals a mile.'

The Lavender Dot - Part Five

'President George P. D. Q. ?3 Bush today called for Gulf War VIII'....'

Titanic 2024: "Nope, no icebergs left."

"I didn’t need to tie his hands—I just entered it into his GPS. In three feet, the destination is below you."

'I think I caught one of those fish showing on the graph.'

"The bomb destroys only all life but not object! This means that our troops can have fun plundering and pillaging. War doesn't have to be inhuman, right?"

Technical specifications: semi-automatic 1.2 mm cartoon launcher. 7.5 inch barrels holds a full stick of graphite. Fires rounds of sarcasm, satire and spoofs. Takes out religious fanatics with sharp wit.

"You may join the crew, Sir, but first you must promise never to write a book about us."

'What's this, lad? Didn't I tell you not to carry anything heavy!'

'What'll it be . . . too large or too small?'

'It was the only white thing I had.'

The True Reason of War. A Little Frontier Incident in Alsace, July 1914.

Storks and Tank

GREENLAND

21 Bun Salute.

We're Looking At a Few Good Men

"I might be able to offer you a test drive."

Possum Army HQ. Here's the casualty report, sir --- You have to take it with a grain of salt, of course.

"Listen up! When I yell 'hop' you say 'how high?!'"

'Following government cuts, this is your new kit bag.'

"Hold on - I'll call in an air strike."

Silhouttes

"BACK FIEND! Take your damned bill and go back from whence you came!"

'Serg!' (Sign has been changed from Afghanistan to Blighty)

The Boche Catcher

"The 2.3 billion dollar item, is that before or after the manufacturer's rebate?"

Boss, if you could be any superhero, which one would it be? Insurance-Adjuster-Man. In a world where superheroes were real, there'd be an awful lot of collateral damage to buildings and infrastructure. Insurance-Adjuster-Man would probably clear six figures by breakfast. "Heroes" aren't in it for the money. Of course they are. Take Lex Luthor, for instance ...

Get Ready for the Next One

"Stop playing around and put it back in you knapsack"

Hit Or Missler Gun

'Excellent strategy, General...Though I fear the enemy might be full size...'