Airport Satire Enthusiasts Gifts

'I'll try to make this no more intrusive than an airport search.'

Uh Oh...

Carefree luggage.

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

Skip the TSA scans by wearing a Burka

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

Bob was headed on a long trip but had forgotten his suitcase. Luckily, the airport folks were one step ahead.

"I only have one suitcase, so what's the problem?"

The Problem with the TSA

'We don't charge you any extra, but we will hate you,'

"You have luggage? - Oh, we don't do LUGGAGE any more."

'Stealth broom.'

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

'Did you Gack this suitcase yourself, sir?'

Airport Security. Sir, one of your tubs is empty. That one's got my dignity!

Baggage Reclaim

"The sniffer dog had found cocaine again."

'Don't worry, I have this procedure down pat.'

Two witches at airport waiting with signs: One says 'Dorothy' and the other one says 'And Your Little Dog Too!'

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

Airlines Charge For...Aisle seats, Exit seats, carry-on luggage...

"No luggage."

Revealing Airport Security

Security Guards Escort Cupid Away

Carr. Smith. Pepper Oni. Gate.

"This would be a lot easier if we all didn't look alike"

Santa Security Check

'If she bites, you've got 18 seconds to suck the poison out,'

'Attention, Flight 1362...In our customer Lounge we're showing a short film: 'Blooper Reels of Strip Searches' to help pass the time...'

"The shoes."

Tranguility Airlines,

Baggage Claim. Miller. Lee. Anyone who knows how to hot wire a car.