Airport Humor Aficionados Gifts

Airport Checkpoints

'I'm sorry, Madame, but you've got to pass the scanner one more time!'

Carefree luggage.

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

'Yep, another set of incisors that are too sharp for security regulations. You'll need to wear a muzzle during the flight, ma'am.'

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

The Problem with the TSA

'Stealth broom.'

Bob was headed on a long trip but had forgotten his suitcase. Luckily, the airport folks were one step ahead.

'We don't charge you any extra, but we will hate you,'

'Did you Gack this suitcase yourself, sir?'

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

Baggage Reclaim

Airport Security. Sir, one of your tubs is empty. That one's got my dignity!

"The sniffer dog had found cocaine again."

'Don't worry, I have this procedure down pat.'

Two witches at airport waiting with signs: One says 'Dorothy' and the other one says 'And Your Little Dog Too!'

"Bad news. Our luggage went to the same place my old job did."

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

Uh Oh...

Carr. Smith. Pepper Oni. Gate.

Security Guards Escort Cupid Away

Revealing Airport Security

Airport Pickups: Mr. Baines, Vinny and Daisy.

"No luggage."

"This would be a lot easier if we all didn't look alike"

Santa Security Check

'If she bites, you've got 18 seconds to suck the poison out,'

"The shoes."

'Attention, Flight 1362...In our customer Lounge we're showing a short film: 'Blooper Reels of Strip Searches' to help pass the time...'

Baggage Claim. Miller. Lee. Anyone who knows how to hot wire a car.

Tranguility Airlines,