Airport Humor Seeker Gifts

Deportation desk

Carefree luggage.

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

Vampire on a plane

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

'Yep, another set of incisors that are too sharp for security regulations. You'll need to wear a muzzle during the flight, ma'am.'

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

'Stealth broom.'

Bob was headed on a long trip but had forgotten his suitcase. Luckily, the airport folks were one step ahead.

The Problem with the TSA

'We don't charge you any extra, but we will hate you,'

'Did you Gack this suitcase yourself, sir?'

The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"

Sometimes they need the oxygen mask after they see the new baggage fees.

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

Baggage Reclaim

Airport Security. Sir, one of your tubs is empty. That one's got my dignity!

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

"The sniffer dog had found cocaine again."

'Don't worry, I have this procedure down pat.'

Two witches at airport waiting with signs: One says 'Dorothy' and the other one says 'And Your Little Dog Too!'

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

What really killed the dinsaurs.

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

"Bad news. Our luggage went to the same place my old job did."

'You've got to admire their candor.'

Uh Oh...

'Welcome to crash-test flight 000. Go ahead and take your seat!'

Carr. Smith. Pepper Oni. Gate.

Revealing Airport Security

'Hmm, your luggage seems to have been booked through to India.'

"This would be a lot easier if we all didn't look alike"