Airport Humor Gifts

'Attention passengers. Flight 322 is on time, but we'll make up for that with security and boarding delays...'

Baggage Reclaim

Carefree luggage.

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

Vampire on a plane

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

'Yep, another set of incisors that are too sharp for security regulations. You'll need to wear a muzzle during the flight, ma'am.'

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

'Stealth broom.'

Bob was headed on a long trip but had forgotten his suitcase. Luckily, the airport folks were one step ahead.

'We don't charge you any extra, but we will hate you,'

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

The Problem with the TSA

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

Sometimes they need the oxygen mask after they see the new baggage fees.

The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

'Did you Gack this suitcase yourself, sir?'

Airport Security. Sir, one of your tubs is empty. That one's got my dignity!

Two witches at airport waiting with signs: One says 'Dorothy' and the other one says 'And Your Little Dog Too!'

'Don't worry, I have this procedure down pat.'

"Bad news. Our luggage went to the same place my old job did."

What really killed the dinsaurs.

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

'You've got to admire their candor.'

Uh Oh...

'Welcome to crash-test flight 000. Go ahead and take your seat!'

"This would be a lot easier if we all didn't look alike"

Carr. Smith. Pepper Oni. Gate.

Security Guards Escort Cupid Away

Revealing Airport Security

'Hmm, your luggage seems to have been booked through to India.'