Airport Humor Pillows

'Attention passengers. Flight 322 is on time, but we'll make up for that with security and boarding delays...'

Baggage Reclaim

Carefree luggage.

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

Vampire on a plane

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

The Problem with the TSA

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

'Stealth broom.'

'We don't charge you any extra, but we will hate you,'

Bob was headed on a long trip but had forgotten his suitcase. Luckily, the airport folks were one step ahead.

The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

'Don't worry, I have this procedure down pat.'

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

What really killed the dinsaurs.

"Bad news. Our luggage went to the same place my old job did."

'You've got to admire their candor.'

Uh Oh...

'Welcome to crash-test flight 000. Go ahead and take your seat!'

'Hmm, your luggage seems to have been booked through to India.'

Revealing Airport Security

"This would be a lot easier if we all didn't look alike"

'If she bites, you've got 18 seconds to suck the poison out,'

"We get your point about legroom, now please put them back in the cabin"