Airport Humor Lover Pillows

Stop flicking that lighter !

"Carry your wallet, Mister"

Carefree luggage.

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

Vampire on a plane

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

'Stealth broom.'

Bob was headed on a long trip but had forgotten his suitcase. Luckily, the airport folks were one step ahead.

The Problem with the TSA

'We don't charge you any extra, but we will hate you,'

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

Baggage Reclaim

The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"

'Don't worry, I have this procedure down pat.'

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

What really killed the dinsaurs.

'You've got to admire their candor.'

Uh Oh...

'Welcome to crash-test flight 000. Go ahead and take your seat!'

'Hmm, your luggage seems to have been booked through to India.'

"This would be a lot easier if we all didn't look alike"

Revealing Airport Security

'If she bites, you've got 18 seconds to suck the poison out,'

'What's the best way to get to the nearest Post Office?' 'By Easyjet.'